Diablo Canyon Christmas Carols

(“It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”)

We promised you once, so long ago,
> We’d soon safely store all the waste.
A few small hitches will soon be fixed,
> we tell you now with a straight face.

We’ll rack the rods much closer now
> in pools where they softly glow.
Stick the rest in cement overcoats:
> All dressed up with no place to go.

We ask you now to please believe
> in Lovelock and Kunstler and Brand:
more nuclear plants will solve all our woes.
> But for one small problem, they’re grand.

____________________________________________

("Nuclear Winter Wonderland")

Down the lane: people fleeing
> In the bay: Somethin's steaming
Shut down the beach,
> there's a minor core breach
down at the Diablo Canyon plant.

Later on, parts expire.
> Radiated metal's tired.

But ratepayers pay
> so we squeeze one more day
out of our Diablo Canyon plant.

We want to have a say on if we glow, man;
> We'll ask NRC to shut it down.
Regulators tell us "Risk is low, man -
> But we'll hear your concerns if we're in town."

In the pools - roof's collapsin'.
> Rods uncooled - now out-gassin'.
We'd sell our house, but the market's been doused
> Next to the Diablo Canyon plant.

________________

("O Holy Night")

O, holy crap:
> The warning sirens failed us
And we don't know
> How to get out of town.

Blocked is the route,
> The only one could save us.
Now is the time
> To think about plan B.

The doors jammed shut
> On police and fire garages
Cheap, dry casks
> Tossed like bowling pins.

PG&E!
> How did
you get that permit?
> O right,
Forgot:
> No hearings held,
You got your way.

No quake foreseen:
> who knew that fault
ran under there?

_______________

("Sleigh Ride")

There's no terrorism,
> no error-margins to fear.
The NRC assures us
> it won't be happening here.

Just keep comfy cozy and
> your thoughts all rosy, they said:
No bad guy
> ever thought to
crash into rods
> in a shed.

rack 'em up
> rack 'em up
rack 'em up
> some more,
straight out of the core.
> there's always room for one more.

stack 'em up
> stack 'em up
stack 'em up
> right here -
our nuclear waste dump
> is a deadly waste pump
for just a few thousand years.

We've got strontium 90
> The cesium's mighty fine, too.
The central coast is toasty
> and the same goes for me and for you.

___________

("The Bells")

There goes the horn
> We feel forlorn
There was a leak
> We're up the creek

Maybe a quake
> or a mistake
one little crack
> someone attacked

We're now betrayed
> by those we paid
not quite enough
> to guard the stuff

Breathe iodine
> softly we die

Maybe storing waste here
> was not the way to go

Maybe shutting it down
> would have saved poor SLO

Regulators should've gotten real
> Seismic zones perhaps are not ideal

Here comes the plume
> darkness at noon
trust NRC
> no need to flee
nothing to fear
> all will be well
in 10,000 years.

___________

("Hark, the Herald Angels Sing")

My old car
> was sinking fast -
Knew damn well it couldn't last.

Got new plugs
> and changed the tires,
Then looked for prospective buyers.

Sealed the leaks
> and taped the tail light;
It still runs when
> I dare drive it.

Now I bring
> my expertise
to the folks at PUC:

Generators when replaced
> Will run this wreck
A few more days.

___________

("My Kind of Town" )

PG&E! - You're okay guys
> PG&E! - Don't wanna die

Radioac
> tivity
for
> Eternity
ain't no good so
> Build a wind farm
- and solar, too
> Pumpin' clean juice
No big kaboom
> That's my kind of power!

When you've replaced
> The rust & bolts with
New, clean and safe
> Non-toxic volts,
We'll be so
> glad you did
and your kids
> and
each time it starts
> Diablo is
fallin' apart
> Diablo is
the backward blueprints
> Diablo is
the surprise fault lines
> Diablo is
one step from that
> big melt down:
Not my Kind of power.